The McCallister family is flying to Paris for Christmas the next day. It’s pandemonium. Kevin jumps on his parents’ bed and starts reading, telling his Mum to make him go.
Linnie tells Kevin he has to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If Fuller has something to drink, he’ll wet the bed. Buzz tells Rod his spider won’t need to eat for weeks, just having been fed mice guts.
There’s a scraping sound from outside. Buzz, Rod and Kevin watch Old Man Marley through the window. Buzz calls him the South Bend Shovel Slayer. Apparently, he murdered his family and half the people on his block.
The pizza guy arrives with ten pizzas. Dressed as a cop, Harry Lyme establishes that Peter’s the homeowner. Harry’s seeing that precautions are taken over Christmas.
Peter has lights on timers and locks on the doors. Kevin asks if anyone ordered him a plain cheese pizza. Buzz says they did, but it’s been eaten. He urgently tells Kevin to get a plate, making retching noises.
Kevin charges at Buzz and milk goes everywhere. Peter says they should rescue the passports. Peter soaks up the milk, but throws Kevin’s plane ticket away with the wet napkins.
Kevin tells his Mum Buzz ate his pizza. The whole room glares at Kevin, who’s ordered upstairs. Kate tells Harry her brother has transferred to Paris. Harry grins privately at Kevin, revealing his gold tooth.
Kate’s brother missed everyone so badly, he invited them all to Paris. Kate says fifteen people and only Kevin makes trouble. Kevin says families suck.
That night, a storm cuts the phones and the power. In the morning, Kate realises the time and she and Peter jump out of bed. It’s pandemonium again.
Young Mitch Murphy pesters the airport drivers with questions. Heather counts Mitch as Kevin, then says half in one van, half in the other. They reach the airport just in time.
Kevin wakes up to find an empty kitchen. He calls out, then explores the house and basement, asking Uncle Frank if it’s a joke. The furnace seems to growl at Kevin.
Kevin finds the cars still there and figures he made his family disappear. He smiles. Soon, he’s jumping on a bed eating. He runs downstairs shouting and waves his arms about.
He goes to Buzz’s private stash, gets an air gun and shoots at action figures. The draining board’s soon overflowing with evidence of marshmallows, syrup and chocolate sauce.
Kevin watches gangster film Angels With Filthy Souls while eating ice cream with toppings and marshmallows. In the movie, there’s a machinegun murder. Kevin watches through his fingers as the killer laughs. The killer says his victim should keep the change, calling him a filthy animal.
On board the flight, Kate thinks they forgot something. She checks if she turned off the coffee, if Peter locked up and if he closed the garage. Then, she yells Kevin’s name.
Harry tells fellow burglar, Marv Murchins, the McCallister house is the silver tuna. Some very fine jewellery. A possible cash hoard with odd marketable securities. Both men clink crowbars. Marv works the door, but Kevin switches on the light inside. Both burglars leave, spooked. Kevin rushes upstairs and hyperventilates.
Kate has a policeman sent to the house. He rings and knocks on the door, only further scaring Kevin. The policeman reports that no-one’s home and that the house looks secure.
Kevin takes a shower and washes his hair with creme rinse. He applies aftershave and yells. At the pharmacist, he notices Marley and leaves the shop with a toothbrush. Kevin’s a criminal.
Harry later wishes Kevin a Merry Christmas, having almost run him over, light glinting from Harry’s gold tooth. The burglars follow Kevin to a church, but Kevin hides in the Nativity scene.
That night, the McCallister house is lit-up, with Christmas music blaring. There are cardboard cutouts of party guests. Kevin dances, with strings attached to his limbs. The burglars agree to come back later.
The pizza guy arrives. Kevin has the remote control for the gangster movie, volume on loud. Johnny says to leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of there.
Kevin drops $12 through the cat-flap. Johnny calls the pizza guy a filthy animal, threatening to kill him. The sound of gunfire sends the pizza guy running. Kevin inhales the aroma of the food through the box. A lovely cheese pizza, just for him.
Kevin goes to the store. He amiably agrees to give microwave dinners a whirl and presents a coupon for orange juice. He pays with some of Buzz’s lifesavings.
Kevin does laundry and washing-up, then the doorknob rattles. Kevin gets the remote control and starts the killing scene. He places a pan full of Buzz’s firecrackers by the cat-flap.
When the gunfire’s coupled with the firecrackers, a terrified Marv returns to the van. Kevin lip synchs the final words “Keep the change, you filthy animal”.
Kate lands back in America, but there are no flights to Chicago because it’s Christmas Eve. She’s been awake almost sixty hours. She’s tired and dirty. She’s been from Chicago to Paris, to Dallas, to wherever she is.
She must get home to her eight year-old son. Polka clarinet-player Gus Polinski says his flight was cancelled so he and his band are renting a van and agree to drive Kate to Chicago.
Harry sees Kevin sourcing a Christmas tree. Kevin then decorates the tree, and sees Harry’s reflection in a bauble. Harry tells Marv they’ll return after dark.
Headed home from having asked a Santa for help getting back his family, Kevin hears singing. Inside the church, he sees Marley and gasps. Marley wishes Kevin a Merry Christmas.
Marley says his granddaughter’s singing. He says the rumours about him aren’t true, then asks if Kevin’s been good that year. Marley says church is perfect if you’re feeling bad about yourself.
Kevin says he said some things he shouldn’t have. He really likes his family, even though he says he doesn’t. Marley says how we feel about family is a complicated thing.
Kevin says especially with an older brother. Marley says deep down, Kevin will always love his brother. Marley had a historic argument with his son. They lost their tempers and haven’t spoken since.
Marley’s afraid to call in case his son won’t talk to him. Kevin’s always been afraid of their basement. It’s dark, there’s weird stuff down there and it smells funny.
Kevin made himself go down there and turn on the lights and it’s no big deal. Kevin says Marley should call his son. No matter how angry Kevin was, he’d talk to his Dad, especially around the holidays.
Kevin places small cars by the front door and waters the front steps, hanging a red-hot filament on the inside of the doorknob. He waters the outside steps by the basement.
He paints the steps inside with tar, arranging an upturned nail. He runs a rope from the attic to the treehouse. He puts glue on cling film and places a big fan behind feathers.
He arranges baubles on the floor by a window. Paint pots are fastened to string. Harry and Marv appear. Kevin shoots Harry in the groin through the cat-flap.
Harry screams. Marv pokes his head through. Kevin shoots Marv in the face. Marv screams. Harry goes to the front. Marv to the rear. Harry walks up the icy steps and lands on his back.
Marv also tumbles to the floor. Harry pulls himself up the rail, but slips onto his back again. Marv gets into the basement and pulls at a light switch. An iron from some floors up hits Marv in the face.
Harry returns to his feet and grabs the red-hot doorknob, screaming, then sizzling his hand in the snow. Marv’s trying to walk up the basement steps. He leaves his shoes and socks behind in the sticky tar.
He stands on the upturned nail and screams. Harry opens a door and a blowtorch burns his head. He screams, then plunges his head into the snow where it sizzles.
Harry then walks into gluey cling film, then has feathers blown on him. Marv enters through a window and steps barefoot on small, glass objects and screams.
Kevin calls them both morons. They then slip on toy cars and Kevin hits both men in the face with a paint pot each. Kevin calls 911 and says his house is being robbed.
Harry trips on a tripwire and lands on his back. Kevin places Buzz’s tarantula on Marv’s face. Marv screams and hits Harry with a crowbar by accident.
Kevin zip-lines to the treehouse. Soon, both burglars are hanging from the rope. Kevin cuts the rope and the men swing down and against a wall, landing on the floor.
Harry outsmarts Kevin and hangs him by his jumper on a door hook. Marley appears and knocks out the burglars with a shovel. The cops gratefully arrest the Wet Bandits.
Christmas morning, Kevin runs downstairs, calling to his absent Mum. Then, she arrives and sees the decorated tree and stockings above the fireplace.
She wishes Kevin a Merry Christmas and apologises and they embrace. Then, the rest of Kevin’s family bursts through the door. Everyone’s pleased Kevin’s OK. Kevin and Buzz shake hands.
They took the flight Kate couldn’t wait for. She then says they don’t have milk. Kevin says he went shopping for eggs, milk and fabric softener. Everybody’s impressed.
Kevin sees Marley hugging his son and family. Kevin and Marley wave at each other.
Starring Macaulay Culkin. Joe Pesci. Daniel Stern. Rated PG. Dir Chris Colombus. Released in the UK 1990. Runtime 1hr 43min
