1967, New England, USA
Eighteen-year old Susannah Kaysen’s strapped to a gurney. She’s given five milligrams of Valium, IV. She vomits, suggesting aspirin fragments and vodka. Her wrist shows heavy bruising. Professor Gilcrest, Susannah’s married, English-instructor lover, watches.
Susannah tells Dr Crumble that the laws of physics can be suspended and what goes up may not come down. Crumble thinks Susannah’s stoned, asking if she takes any drugs. Susannah says no, yet she’s unaware of what she’s feeling.
Crumble says Susannah needs a genuine rest. She’s hurting everyone around her. Top-notch mental hospital, Claymoore, is nearby. Susannah’s mother, Annette, watches from her car as Susanna’s cab leaves.
The driver, Monty Hoover, says Susannah looks normal. She says she’s sad and sees things. At Claymoore, Hoover tells Susannah not to get too comfortable there.
Susannah’s the only senior not going on to college. She plans to write — determined to not rebel or end up like her mother. The principal says modern women have more choices than that. Susannah disagrees.
Nurse, Valerie Owens, introduces Susannah’s new roommate, Georgina Tuskin. Susannah unpacks and Georgina sees a box of Gauloises cigarettes. Susannah believes that the French resistance smoked them.
Lisa Rowe’s admitted with police escort. Georgina quickly grows tearful. Lisa makes animal noises, saying it’s good to be home. She casually surrenders contraband and weapons to staff, asking after Jamie.
Lisa demands to know who Susannah is and why Susannah’s stuff’s on Jamie’s bed. Soon, Nurse Gretta prepares a syringe for Lisa. Georgina says that Lisa was best friends with Jamie. But, Jamie was sad because Lisa disappeared, so Jamie hanged herself.
Nurse McWilley gives Susannah pills to help her sleep. She’s given them in a small, cardboard cup. Susannah learns how Polly Clark burned her face. She was ten and had to surrender her puppy because it caused a rash. Polly poured petrol on the rash and lit a match.
Susannah remembers asking boyfriend, Toby, how he’d kill himself. When he wants to change the subject, Susannah’s offended. Toby says if some draft zombie pulls his birthday out of a barrel, Toby’s gonna die. His birthday’s December 30th. Susannah says she’ll pray for him.
Toby birthday’s called. Another patient, Janet Webber, breezily tells Susannah Toby’s dead. Lisa finds Susannah, bums a smoke and asks if Susannah’s had her first therapy session with Dr Melvin Potts, yet. Susannah has Melvin in half an hour.
Potts tells Susannah Toby probably has months before he even reports. Potts asks if there’s anything he should know about her suicide attempt the previous week.
Susannah says she was never unsafe. She was trying to make the time-jumps, the depression, the headaches and the thing with her hand stop. She can’t understand why she’s in a mental institution.
Lisa convinces a nurse she’s complying with medication, then reveals to Susannah the tablets still on her tongue, grinning. Susannah does the same with her own meds.
Daisy Randone is denied Colace laxatives. Susannah has two Colace pills available. Lisa then tells Daisy to pony up some Valium. Daisy yells for Valerie.
Daisy tells Susannah she doesn’t take Valium. Lisa calls Daisy a laxative junkie. Daisy claims eating anything but her Dad’s rotisserie chicken makes her puke.
Lisa hurries Susannah so Daisy puts three Valium on the bed. Lisa takes the Valium and Daisy takes the laxatives. Lisa discovers rotting chicken carcasses under Daisy’s bed, apparently how Daddy knows Daisy’s eating.
Susannah’s father, Carl, asks how long Susannah’s in Claymoore for. It’s almost Christmas and he’s wondering what he’ll say to their friends.
Susannah labels it a little “holiday cocktail Christmas party crisis”. Potts tells Susannah’s parents she has Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s common in young women, but its causes are unknown.
When Potts answers Susannah’s question and says it’s five times more common among those with a Borderline parent. Annette starts sobbing and abandons the meeting.
On Daisy’s last day, Valerie takes the girls to Eckels Ice Cream Parlor to celebrate. Here, Susannah ducks Barbara Gilcrest. Then, Barbara approaches Susannah, with high-achieving daughter, Bonnie.
Barbara hopes they put Susannah away forever. Before long, Lisa tells Barbara to relax. Lisa says it was just a sex act Susannah performed on Barbara’s husband, warning Barbara not to point her finger at crazy people.
Janet then barks like a dog. Georgina starts squealing. Daisy angrily slaps away Bonnie’s ice cream and Susannah chuckles at the general ridiculousness. Valerie makes Lisa release Barbara’s wrist and stops Janet barking — later confining Lisa to the ward.
Toby visits. He ships out the following week. Soon, he and Susannah are alone. To prolong the couple’s alone-time, Lisa intercepts Nurse Margie who’s running checks. Lisa threatens to cut her own aorta, holding a pen to her neck. Valerie arrives and says Lisa’s aorta’s in her chest.
Valerie suggests Susannah and Toby get a cup of coffee since Susannah has grounds privileges. Toby leads Susannah to his car, wanting to flee to Canada with her. Susannah reminds him she attempted suicide and that she has friends at Claymoore.
Polly’s freaking out that she’s ugly. So, Susannah gets a guitar and Lisa drugs McWilley. Both girls sing outside Polly’s door and Polly stops sobbing. The music attracts an orderly called John, who returns curious patients to their rooms. Then, Susannah starts kissing him.
Next morning, Valerie says she’s writing Susannah up. In session, Dr Sonia Wick learns Susannah’s friends have hitherto been mainly men. Wick tells Susannah someone who’s compulsively promiscuous might engage in a sex act with a guest and then in another sex act the same day with an orderly, adding that Susannah’s progress has plateaued.
Susannah’s ambivalent. Wick says it suggests Susannah’s torn between two opposing courses of action, making available to Susannah an open dictionary.
Susannah withdraws the word. But, Wick thinks it’s perfect, asking how much Susannah will indulge in her flaws. If she does, Susannah will commit herself to hospital for life.
Valerie wakes Susannah, then drops her bodily into a bath full of water. Susannah says she and Lisa were trying to help Polly by singing. Valerie says Susannah’s not crazy. She’s a lazy, self-indulgent, little girl who’s driving herself crazy. Susannah says Valerie’s just a Black nursemaid.
Lisa and Susannah hitch a ride to Daisy’s apartment, where they’ll crash till they get flights to Florida. Daisy learns Susannah has Valium and opens the door.
Daisy asks if the girls escaped. Susannah says they’re going to work at Disneyworld. Daisy demands Valium from Lisa, who finds fresh cuts on Daisy’s wrist and arm. Lisa says here’s Daisy in so-called recovery. Daisy says her father loves her. Lisa insinuates this is incestual love.
Daisy says Lisa’s jealous because she got better and was released. Lisa says they just stopped trying to fix Daisy. Daisy’s just taking Daddy’s money, fattening her up like a prize heifer. Daisy says have fun in Florida.
In the morning, Daisy’s found hanged. Susannah calls an ambulance, but Lisa goes through Daisy’s pockets and leaves. Susannah sinks down the wall, sobbing.
Susannah wishes she’d apologised to Daisy. She’ll never know what it was like to be Daisy, but she knows what it’s like to want to die, how it hurts to smile, what it’s like to try to fit in, but you can’t.
When you don’t want to feel, death can seem like a dream. But, seeing death makes dreaming about it ridiculous. Without Lisa, Susannah began to feel again.
Susannah sees Wick three times a week, sharing every thought. She asks if she can be home by Thanksgiving. She’s in control, off meds, no headaches and is sleeping soundly.
Susannah discovers everybody in the tunnels. Lisa says they’re reading-aloud Susannah’s journal. They’ve learnt that Susannah thinks Georgina doesn’t want to leave, Polly never will and that Lisa’s criminally insane.
Susannah writes that Polly’s sweetness is a desperate attempt to make it easier for everyone else to look at her. Susannah asks what Lisa’s doing. Lisa says she tries to give Susannah everything she wants.
Susannah wanted her file, Lisa got it. Susannah wanted out, Lisa got her out. Susannah wanted money, Lisa found her some. Lisa says Susannah returns to Claymoore all sweetness and light and sad and contrite and everybody congratulates her on her bravery. Meanwhile, Lisa’s at the bus station selling sex acts for cash.
Lisa says Susannah doesn’t understand freedom. Susannah’s gonna choke on her average, mediocre life. Susannah shouts Lisa needs Claymoore to feel alive, calling it pathetic. Lisa collapses, crying out in anguish.
Susannah says maybe the world’s stupid and ignorant. But, she’d rather be in it than down in the tunnels. Georgina only just discourages Lisa from putting a syringe in her arm.
Susannah paints Lisa’s nails and they make up. Susannah tells Georgina all the stuff in her journal is just thoughts, adding maybe Susannah’s the liar. Georgina says maybe not.
Susannah’s final diagnosis: a recovered Borderline. Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. Susannah says they were imperfect, but the Claymoore patients were her friends.
And, by the ’70s, most of them were out living lives. Some Susannah’s seen, some never again. There isn’t a day Susannah’s heart doesn’t find them.
Starring Winona Ryder. Angelina Jolie. Clea DuVall. Rated 15. Dir James Mangold. Released in the UK 1999. Runtime 2hrs 7mins
